Spencer Burton likes to rap when he’s drunk. He’s really good at it too. That is, either he actually is, or it just seems that way because everyone around him is also drunk and their judgment is impaired so they can’t tell whether or not his rhymes are actually skilled. This kid is an enigma. He is hilarious and widely loved by his peers. At parties, he is the life and soul of interaction.  With his abrasive and profane sense of humor he demands that his friends and everyone around him has fun, and they obey.

Not many people can say something funny on command. In fact, I don’t think I’ve talked to a single person that can except for Spencer. His name is that of a nerdy little elementary school kid, but this guy is charismatic and popular and has friends that love him. He’s still a nerd though, but he is one of the nerds that works it and lives and loves life. Anyway, once when he was at a party, two of his peers were discussing how laughing and smoking at the same time is not a fun experience, and one of them turned to him and asked him to say something funny, expecting Spencer to just laugh it up and not say anything.

Instead, he turned to his friends and said to them “King Kong has a hairy dick.”

Naturally, being teenagers and all, they all thought this was incredibly funny and cracked up for a solid three minutes. Spencer is used to this attention and he thrives under social pressure. Instead of feeling the need to please or impress the people he interacts with, he just says the funny things that come to his mind and feeds off their positive responses.

Like any kid his age, he is naturally insecure, but instead of showing this through his actions, he puts a front to the world and spends time with his girlfriend Lisa. She is perfect for Spencer because her personality is much more sweet and easygoing and usually he can just boss her around in his half-joking manner and she’ll go along with it. The worst thing he’s ever done in his life was cheat on her. He didn’t have sex with someone else, but he did let things go a little farther than they should have when he was at college. He felt responsible and told Spencer the next day, upon which she immediately forgave him.

This was tough for Spencer because one of the reasons he likes her so much is that she goes along with things like this and doesn’t hold grudges, but at the same time she felt as if she didn’t care that he had strayed. He started to become concerned, worrying about her letting things go as easily as she let his unfaithfulness pass unchallenged. He resolved to stay with her because he does love her, but also because he is afraid of letting her be taken advantage of by someone else or in a worse way in the future.

This brings me to the paradox that is Spencer. He is essentially a good person, but he is also a teenage boy, which means he is susceptible to temptation, rebellion, and the allure of drugs. This oftentimes gets him into trouble, as someone as easygoing as him has an awful time trying to say no to anyone offering him drinks. He’s also not one to “tweak,” meaning he will never be the responsible person in any situation, as paranoia or even standard caution is not common for him to practice.

That being said, as previously mentioned his is outstanding at dealing with situations when under massive amounts of pressure. When neighbors start asking questions about a party, his little sister is getting into trouble with the boys at her school, or his friend gets caught with weed in his locker at high school, Spencer is a pro at stepping in and diffusing any potentially disastrous situation. This is most likely because he has an abnormally functioning mind that operates at high levels of intelligence and intellect, giving him an uncanny ability to read people and predict how they will respond to certain comments or situations.

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